Late-night television hosts recently criticized the demolition of a historic section of the White House and the business backers of an expensive gilded ballroom construction.
Seth Meyers
During Thursday's broadcast of his show, Seth Meyers voiced shock over the administration's initiative to construct a opulent event space. “It would be bad enough if his main focus was just building a gilded vanity project for himself, but it’s even more concerning,” he stated. “Because to accomplish it, he’s demolishing a historically significant and cherished landmark.”
The structure in question is the whole eastern section of the White House, which has existed for 120 years. “He’s tearing down the entire East Wing to build his stupid ballroom. I mean, look at this,” Meyers exclaimed. “This is like a sequel to Fixer Upper called Fucked Upper.”
Unsurprisingly, the president misled about this project.” When he first announced it no demolition and said it would not affect the existing structure” because it would be “near it but not touching it”.
In essence, he vowed to handle it similarly to his personal relationships,” Meyers quipped.
Trump said plans had changed following extensive research with some of the best architects in the world”.
“Oh yeah? Who was the designer you consulted, Godzilla?” Meyers retorted.
Outrage has been swift, though unproductive. A historic conservation group wrote to the president saying that the new structure would overwhelm the existing building and requested him to halt work until a review could occur. Firstly, I fully support with the preservation society,” said Meyers. “And two, good luck with your letter.”
It's the epitome of deceptive tactics,” he added. “Trump got elected by promising he was going to improve living costs for everyday citizens, and now he’s demolishing the White House to construct for himself a lavish personal venue.”
Stephen Colbert
“As of this morning the eastern section resembled a rotisserie chicken your dog got into,” said Stephen Colbert on his program. “It's disturbing to witness, I realize that, and you know the administration knows that,” because on Thursday, security personnel blocked entry to the Ellipse park where journalists had been capturing the destruction process.
“Well that makes sense – if it's not recorded, they can just claim the eastern wing hanged itself in prison,” Colbert joked.
He highlighted that it was significant heritage being smashed to rubble”, as that section was built in 1902 and had been the headquarters for first ladies since the Carter administration. “In fact, the former first lady was in the East Wing, and I certainly hope they got her out because she’s frequently confused with a decorative lighting fixture,” Colbert joked over an image of her more non-traditional outfits.
The president financed the expensive project with funding from eager businesses including Amazon, Apple, Comcast, Google, Microsoft, T-Mobile, Meta Platforms and Hard Rock International. “And the president requires all the cash he can get,” noted the host, as the estimated cost has already risen from $250 million to more than $300 million, for a 8,400 sq-meter construction, exceeding the size of the existing White House itself. “It's comparable to a professional soccer field,” Colbert noted. “So remember, corporations, as you bribe the president: no hands.”
Comedy Central's Program
And on the Daily Show, Michael Kosta detailed the rapid progression of the initiative from idea to action. “When he started, he assured that it would be distinct from the current building and he would not affect the eastern section. That the work would strictly be over the pants,” he recapped.
“Then this week, there was a minor adjustment when the president demolished the side of the East Wing like it had a collectible toy inside.”
By Thursday, the entire East Wing was demolished. “This is all happening so fast,” he commented. “This guy’s been taking 15 years to deliver a medical reform, but in 3.5 days he’s demolished half the White House. The president, assure us this will be aesthetically pleasing …”
Unfortunately not – according to a miniature display presented in the Oval Office, the new hall will overshadow the existing residence. “It resembles a crustacean with the large claws, doesn’t it?” Kosta laughed. “In other words, I'm no design expert. But I do know a thing or two about overcompensating for a small penis.”
